age catching up

although I’m merely 28 this year, I just feel so tired at 11pm, will often reside lastest 12am. I’m tired and old. Coming home straight after work became my motivation. Don’t even have the energy to meet up with friends when work ended. The thought about needing to only able to sleep after 12 scares me a little. WERT!

More truths had been told this afternoon. Never knew your departure was because of her. I’ve lost all angst and frustrations when speaking to her. I completely indifferent about every comment passed by her. It’s just work. I finished my work with pride, I don’t give a shit to what it’s said.

Have to reach work half an hour earlier, this reasons my early turning isn’t it? keke

adjourned..

for the time being to www.ourstorybooklife.wordpress.com

lobster town escapade aka pengarang

Took a short trip to the so called lobster town (by yc). He’ve been there on a photographer’s trip + a spread of lobster lunch. We took ate up to $50 Sing dollar. This calculates to tonnes of lobster we indulge in ringgit. Yums..

On the side, we took some really nice photos too. Saturated colours spread across this vintage shop.

We also managed to snap a shot of an old gas station

Have a great new year!

stress

We’re almost kissing 2009 good bye with a season of giving. I’m left with 2 working days before a forced 4 day annual leave. I will hit the work year only on the 4 Jan 10.

I’ve decided to take a step back and take a good look at what was in for me in 2009. Ambitiously started this work year with loads of dream and drive. However, at the end of this year, nothing more than tiredness and angst remain. And worst of them all; extreme mental stress. Every job sure bound to have different kind of stress. Be it heavy work load, tight timelines etc, however mine seem to be emotions. Having a barking boss whom without fail always nick pick on every word you say, every little step that you take; her presence already made me feel so mentally stress, let alone the volcanic timelines, management of many other fluctuating emotions. The gist of this job, is to handle people. Not much hard skills involved, mainly soft skills. I also have to swallow many personal attacks, managing emotional yet unprofessional beings, side step to explosive emotions, egoism, sloppy handovers, unreasonable request and bite my lips to let a smile on insensitive comments. Every step I take, every word I said, every letter I typed in emails are being watched by someone. I’m stressed. Feel like hiding in like a hermit.

This job made me from a smiley girl to a very unhappy person. Because I’m being watched most of the times, I became very mindful of myself. Having to be so tactful has in turn translates into full of shield of defense. Because I am in the service industry, I up-ed my expectation on the poor service staff around me. I used to be able to let go of poor service standards and just shrugged and walked away. But now, I can’t. I wouldn’t allow myself being short-changed. I don’t like this side of me. Why has the nice V3ron disappear to?

But, if I let my guard down, I would not be able to survive in this industry. I was bullied when I first started which landed me to a 2am knock off and 7am start-work job. Returning to work on the 2nd day of CNY and was hitting 39C yet scrambling through my work. On a positive light, I’ve really matured over the short 1 year, learning it the hard way definitely.

Hence… I look for smiles outside work and be especially nice to people who appreciate and are nice to me. I really hope true happiness will befall on me. People always say we must fight for our happiness but the truth is.. I’m tired of hunting for it.

mor pixture for bintan

Baby CK

Another incident

Which gives me another reason to inch towards the exit sign.

Also this very incident shows clearly who cared and who don’t bother at all

peeved~

well a simple email could led to misinterpretation. Why jump to conclusion without first figuring out the rights and wrongs. At that level, aren’t you already suppose to know this SOP friggin well. Oh well, I’m just a baby, maybe, it isn’t necessary at all, no need to sweat over it. Why do you have to pass judgement so quickly despite working so hard with countless initiative for the past year. This is so unfair! I can’t believe you actually say that. I’m so offended! This shows that all that I’ve done has lead to waste. I’ve wasted my time, effort & stress on Sundays nights.

Yes, I’m taking it pretty personally. Because each time I pen down a brief, I will put in all effort and pride. I don’t entertain sloppiness. Hence this judgement call is a completely detrimental to how I look at you from today onwards!

Gotten the paper and gold, but why I am still unhappy. It’s very painful and tiring to work with people like them. Especially when I am in the vulnerable situation or should I say all of us are perceptually wrong. And you are the only person right. Come on! Reality check, you think we keep our mums, we are convinced? Think harder!

The time comes when tolerance is at it’s limits.

a quick snippet of nirwana happenings

When we just arrived..

My Fav traffic minister

The indecency starts when the sky turns dark..

I’m perfectly sober, but not many…

A more decent pic

The Gay counterparts revealed! woot! It was a memorable trip. Although a simple affair, but sweet

a beautiful sight.. magical moment

fron

I suspect fron is death.. Pretty upset. I will bring him to a check up soon. but hearing what the doctor says before, there is no cure. I miss the scared-of-loud-thunder fron.